How to improve your personality Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie's " How to win friends and influence people
Techniques to improve relationships
- Do not criticize anyone, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation. (Thank You)
- Arouse in the other person an eager want. (You are so energetic and athletic)
- Become genuinely interested in other people. (Love)
- Smile all the time .
- Person's name is the sweetest WORD .
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
- Avoid all arguments.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Become a Leader
- Start with praise and appreciation.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Fundamental facts you should know about worry
- Live in the present Don't worry about the futures or your past. Just live each day until bedtime.
- The next time Trouble backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula
- Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
- Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
- Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
- Remind yourself of the price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."
Basic techniques in analyzing worry
- Get the facts. Remember "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
- After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
- Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
- When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
- What is the problem?
- What is the cause of the problem?
- What are all possible solutions?
- What is the best solution?
How to break the worry habit before it breaks you
- Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies .
- Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happiness.
- Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
- If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
- Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
- Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness
- Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
- Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
- Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
- Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
- Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
- Count your blessings--not your troubles!
- Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
- When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
- Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."
The perfect way to conquer worry
- Prayer at early morning and night.
How to keep from worrying about criticism
- Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
- Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
- Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, ask for, helpful, constructive criticism.
Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirits high
- Rest before you get tired.
- Learn to relax at your work.
- Learn to relax at home.
- Apply these four good workings habits:
- Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
- Do things in the order of their importance.
- When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
- Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
- To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
- Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.
The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking
( Guidelines from Dorothy Carnegie's book based on Dale Carnegie's "Public speaking and influencing men in business" )